Post

Post

Here it is almost 6 months post ride, and I feel that now is the time for me to sign off with my final post.

(From my dictation of day 12)

It is the Friday after the ride.  As I am trying to figure out why I am in this weird place in a haze, I recognize something my dad told me.  During the training rides, I would hit Zen, a moment and place of pure happiness.  And it was MY moment, and I experienced a lot of Zen on the rides leading up to the big ride.  And those moments were so insanely beautiful.  Days 8 and 9 were a continuation of these Zen moments I felt in training. I was with my friends, Jose; and then Monday, back to reality. A house to clean, bills to pay, a job to go to. And then in reality, I went back to Zen when I saw Jose, Nicole, friends, a hummingbird outside my window. Nicole reminded me this is the love bubble, this is a peaceful place and continuation of the love bubble I felt on the ride. Reality can be stressful and not Zen, but the love bubble can exit within reality.  My dad told me when I came out to him, me being fearful of his reaction, this is my moment.  We are on the side of a snowy hill together, my son told me he is gay after years of me already knowing, and I look at him and love him and have a gay son on the side of a snowy hill.  This is my moment.

In reality, we think of the past and future, but rarely do we live in the moment.  The ride and my father taught me how to live in the moment, be at peace with that. The training rides were those moments of discovering peace and being.  To live fully in that millisecond of reality.  So beautiful.  For seven days, 24 hours each day, I experienced that non stop.  That is overwhelming.  Then to come back to having to live life, I realized I was for the past week.  I lived life.  I morned the loss of being.  I needed to find my way to go through my perception of life, but live it presently and fully.  That is tough to do with deadlines, budgets, jobs, leaking water heaters, etc. I need to incorporate life into life. Bad things will happen, arguments will occur, money issues occur, but I can still be at peace even in the hard times by living in that moment.

I wont mourn the loss of pure Zen. I will celebrate it and learn to accept every moment as my moment.

(today; why was I trying to sound like a prophet :) LOL)

(Continuation of dictation about two hours later, still day 12)

Ah fuck! Still day 12, 13, 14 whatever day this is.  I am singing songs from Falsettos, happy song about where they talk about how great their life is. "Do you know how great my life is? Saving lives and loving you"  Brought tears to my eyes.  I helped to save lives, or if not save, better lives and was engulfed in love and sharing love.  How awesome!

Break

So that was my verbatim dictation of post ride.  It was an odd place right after the ride.  There were moments where I felt so alive and not to sound better than everyone, but more aware than humanity often is.  It is true.  I meet a lot of people that go through life with blinders on.  If not everyday, then at least five days a week (read into that how you will).  People caught up in their life and existence, they rarely take time to look around and appreciate life as it is. They move selfishly thinking the world is owed to them, that they do not have to take responsibility for their actions and what their actions produce in others.  ALC, and the training leading up to ALC put that part of my life in perspective.  It is OK to guard your self and be selfish in means of protection. But those moments are really rare and don't happen ofter, just in times of self preservation.  But through ALC and mostly pre and post ALC, I learned to allow myself to be hurt, to love freely, to exist in the present moment.

The ALC ride was far greater than any one person.  It is a moment to be surrounded by people all coming together for a cause to help your fellow man.  After the ride, I got a lot of praise for riding across California.  I wont take that away from myself.  That is an amazing feat!  I am damn proud of myself for that accomplishment.  But the true gratitude I got from the ride was being part of the human race in a selfless and loving way.  We all are heroes, but still just your average Joe.

I think I sought that after the ride. To live fully in the now and selflessly.  And I did, and do so still.  However, with time, you can lose sight of that. I know I would not have the same type of love bubble and Zen, but I know it existed inside of me and that I can continue my love bubble.  I took two mementos from the ride and kept them on my person daily post ride.  A dog tag from Rest Stop three that said Fighter, Hero, War on AIDS and a key chain of the Tardis.  I had two Tardisis, one that I wore next to my heart that I gave to Jose after my ride, so he could be with me for every mile, and one in my Bento Box on my bike.  Every time that I had a rough moment or needed to remind myself to live in my moment both on the ride and post ride, I would reach in my pocket and touch them.  That helped when the stressors of work, money or life took over my emotions.  It brought me back to a love bubble and reminded me of what was important.  However, over time, these items became objects in my pocket.  I still had meaning to them and appreciated them, but lost track of why I put them in my pocket for.

This past week, I had a rough week.  Similar to this time last year, I am in the middle of install.  Granted this year is WAY WAY much smoother, but it is still stressful.  I am having a few work issues that require my attention, and frustrations.  And I celebrated and remembered the day I became an adopted uncle and also the same day, losing him.  Other life stuff, which for anonymity sake I wont reveal here.  But it was not the best of weeks.  However, through one particular instance last week, I had a very close person in my life say one thing to me which snapped me 180 around.  I lost what ALC was.  I had become selfish instead of selfless.  What is ironic is that I thought that I was being selfless.  But I wasn't seeing it fully with both eyes open.  So this one argument resulted in me going home and pulling these objects from my pocket and remembering what is important in my life and helping me to realign my thoughts and intentions.  I am a good guy, just got off track.

I also realized that I knew myself, but wasn't embracing the full me.  I have insecurities, which caused me to not be at peace with myself.  I took time reliving my ALC experience by visiting some of my posts and pictures and remembering what is important to me, and what I need to work on in myself.  I am not a changed man.  Change takes time.  However,  ALC did change me. I just let that change slide away.  The past few days I rediscovered peace and what it means to be in your moment.

I decided long ago to sign up for ALC, but never fully committed to that cause.  A few weeks ago, the desire to do the ride again intensified, and after this past week, I realize i need to do it again.  And not to have the same experience!  ALC year 1 was eye opening.  ALC year 2 will continue to bring about the lessons learned from this experience and continue to solidify me into the man I know I am.  I wont be perfect; I cant be.  But I will be damn good at being me and taking the life lessons that ALC, my father, David, Jose have all taught me

I have to finish here with thanks.  A friend recently posted on facebook (edited to surmise my experience with Blanch)  Thankful for all that cycling has brought to my life. From wonderful people with whom I have cycled hundreds of miles while building lifelong friendships, to improving my physical, mental and spiritual health, to giving me a connection to causes like HIV/AIDS, to showing me day in and and out, there is so much more to life than what is right in front of our eyes and that we can ALL make a difference in this big crazy world. Tonight I am thankful for every moment, every mile, every flat, every hill and everyone I have shared the road with. Some are near, some far, some passed. You are all with me with every stroke of the pedal. Always.  I could not sum it up any better.  So to Blanch, thank you. Though you made my ass sore, you are a new welcome inanimate friend in my life.

Danny; for being a best friend throughout and making me laugh every time we are together.

Kira and Emily; without you, this would not be a reality.  I never would have gotten in shape to accomplish this feat.  And for your friendship.

David; for being you and a mentor in this ride.

Suzi; you make me cry every time I see you, but happy tears.  You made me a better man, and I am not sure if you even knew that :)  Thank you

Ellen; Thank you. Though our lives took separate paths, your constant encouragement kept my butt in the saddle

Manny = Coach, but more importantly friend

Jose; you left a gift on my stoop which I have always held dear to my heart.  And that gift means more to me every day. Thank you for the encouragement, kick in the butt to get in the saddle and your constant love every peddle. I love you.

Followers.  It has been fun.  I wondered why I waited to write Post.  I see now that the journey did not end after ALC.  My journey will never end. It continues and through the journey I will grow, with you and a love bubble too. But ALC and you have made this past year the biggest growth in my personal life ever.  Thank you.

To finish, a picture of my first ride on a road bike.  Manny sent this to me last week.  I think this picture was the catalyst to ride again next year.

XO
Ricky

Day 7; Ventura to LA

Day 7; Ventura to LA

This is it. The last day.  I am excited!  I have been on the best vacation ever!!  And now off to finish the journey.  I wake up next to Jose, a great way to start my day.  So as not to wake him at 545 AM, I quietly get into cycling gear and head out to my bike.  I grab a bite to eat at breakfast, call Romi (she is still not even out of her tent :)) and read the days news.  I wanted to leave camp as soon as the route opened in order to get to LA sooner than later since I had people there waiting for me (granted, they were still asleep in the hotel I was out, but still, their trip was 1.5 hours.  Mine was going to be at least 6). When I get to the bike area, there are a hundred or so other cyclists gearing up to leave.  And a sea of eggs.  Annually, and traditionally, the Chicken Lady, whom I’ve mentioned before, puts out chicken eggs on every cyclists seat overnight.  Super cool and I was excited to get my egg and read the note from her.

Waking up, at the bikes, Chicken Lady leaves her signature eggs on every cyclists seat.  I have an orange egg. The message inside reads, "May the reason you commited to ride this week be a song of hope for all the world to sing forever. ♥ Love, Chicken Lady, ALC11"  There is also a life saver candy inside that has a note saying "You are a true lifesaver"

Rows of bikes, early in the morning, all with an egg on it :0) Thanks Chicken Lady!!

Gorgeous day for a ride.  There are only two rest stops today and lunch.  The eagerness to finish the ride is hard to resist.  I am ready to cross the finish line.  I make quick use of the pit stops, enjoying the sights and sounds and views the coastal ride provides.  You can smell the salt air hit your nose.  It is desolate in the sense that it is the coast and hills.  Along the way I meet pig lady team captain, who you saw her car on the entire route as she is there to cheer on her team, and then condom man, a quirky guy who cheers us on every day in a different outfit.  There was one neat area where the sand from the beach was swept along the hillside and caused sand dunes.  It was so awesome in that the elements to do this were fierce and relentless, but it was so quiet and peaceful. 

Creepy viagra, condom man.  A staple of ALC.  Had to get a pic with him.

A pic for my sister.  There was a pig team.  Told her that that was the best team name and I neded a pic to send to my sister, a fellow pig lover.

More great views.  Though desolete looking, a nice ride right on the ocean.

We ride through Malibu and past Cher’s house, where a rider each year waves flags from her driveway entrance and cheers us up the big hill right before her house.  And then I get to see Ellen!  My best friend, she stopped in Malibu with her husband and mom to cheer me on from the side of the road.  Though our visit is brief so I don’t go into muscle shock from not moving, it was great to see them and have them tell me how proud they were of me.  They also had a sign to cheer me and Team San Diego on!

Lunch.  I  see a few other Team San Diego riders.  We eat lunch and discuss if we should ride out.  Well, Team San Diego wants to ride in as a Team.  What??  I was perplexed by this.  Through all our training, it was meet up, safety speech ride out, everyone disperses quickly due to riding ability, and then leave when you get to your car.  There were no big meet up events, nights out, picnics, etc.  So I never really felt like a team.  I met and got along great with a lot of them, and am now friends with some of them.  But to call us a team, it never got to that level with me.  We were acquaintances riding together whom I made friends with some along the way.  I thought it odd to call us a team on the last day of the ride. I call my friends who were going to meet me in Ventura.  They said they were at least an hour and a half away.  I was only a half hour away.  So I opted to wait for Team San Diego to ride in. 

Getting all of us together and ride out took some logistical planning, but we have some vocal people on our team, so they were able to wrangle us all together.  We finish out through Malibu.  My goodness, this was scary.  Traffic was backed up and it was a slow line of cyclists.  Cars abounded and we had to be uber cautious of our actions, as well as all the cars and other cyclists.  We go slow and we make it out of this congestion in one piece.

The wife and I!

What is up with the wet crotch look??

Nessa and I!!!!

 We meet up again as a Team outside a coffee house.  We are a mile out and ready to cross the finish line.  I have my ride wife by my side and we are ready to do this.  Luckily for me, David, my friend and his sister pass us in their SAG truck.  They pull over just ahead of us to cheer us on.  That meant the world to me :)  The actual finish line is a row of barricades with supporters cheering you on from the sidelines.  It is hard to find anyone, but so many people want to give you a high five.  So we rode, Team San Diego, through the barricades, pumping our fists and cheering and high fiving supporters.  Towards the balloon finish line, I spot Team Ricky, supporting me and cheering me in!  Yay!!!!  I felt so proud.  I felt like an athlete; a hero.  I felt the love bubble drowning me in its sea of love and happiness.  I stop right next to Suzi.  With tears in our eyes, from one of my best emotional supporter TRL’s, we hug.  The most genuine and heartfelt hug :)  Then Team Ricky comes running in and cheering for me.  Hugs abound and some of the best boyfriend kisses to date!  Tears and sweat combine as I feel my friends and boyfriends love upon me.  It was incredible.  Also, a nice slap in the ass from Jose was the best congratulations I could ask for! :)

We take celebratory pics, store the bikes and hug all around us.  I introduce and show off my friends to my new family. 

Angela and I.  She is a beast (in a good way).  Homegirl can ride like no other.  Super rad as hell too!

OK. So it was more like 495 miles, but nonetheless, here is the celebratory pic!

Finished!

Jose and I ♥

I am part of a bigger family now.  I am an ALC veteran. I am a hero, and I accept that.  That was the hardest thing to accept.  But I am a hero.  We line up for the closing ceremonies.  We raised, 12.6 Million dollars!!!!  How awesome.  They recap the ride with pictures and videos.  Lori Jean and others talk.  Team Ricky like the event and feel closer to what ALC is and closer to this cause.  Danny gets a sunburn. 

We take a celebratory dinner at El Cholo.  So good!!  I was soooo hungry (hello, I burned 3500-4500 calories a day) and had a couple drinks.  We talked about the ride and about each other.  We celebrated my accomplishment, our friendship and our mini love bubble at that table.  I celebrated a buzz, two cocktails after no drinking for a week and all that calories burned, it didn’t take much :)

We go home.  Jose and I together, in one car, just the two of us.  We pass by this place on the coast where weeks earlier I cried over Ricardo.  Jose was playing a song that day that was similar to the style of music that Ricardo used for his choreography.  It made me miss him that day.  I was so happy this day though.  I had my buddy, my mentor Ricardo looking over me at that moment.  He was proud of me, I felt it.  I placed my hand on Jose’s leg. The love was emanating from my hand to him and vice versa.  I was at peace, present, and filled to the brim with love.  That night, I got to spend the night in his arms. ♥

"Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

Franklin P. Jones (1887-1929)

I have finished peddling.

Day 6; Lompoc to Ventura

Day 6; Lompoc to Ventura

I love David's truck.  I took these two photos today, earlier on in the day.  At some point in the seven days, each and everyone of us could relate in some manner to a quote from Seuss.  So today, though not particular to day 6, I took the photos of my favorite quotes to remind me that they both hold so true to the entire ALC journey.

Great start to day 6.  I wake up at 5:30ish and am off by 6:30.  Romi is with me, ish.  We catch up with each other.  It was a beautiful day and great start to the day.  I am full of energy.  I get to see my man today!  He is just 83.3 miles away.

It is a gorgeous ride through the mountains.  Nice gentle uphills with great little downhills.  Perfect weather.  Coming out of Lompoc, there was a significant uphill to start the morning.  There was also a small little steep hill which I will now dub my quadbuster.  After 5 days in the saddle, it is the small steep hills that kill you. But at the crest, you have beautiful views to the left and down.  As much as I want to speed forward to see my friends and Jose who I know are waiting for me in Ventura, I take the time to really take in the views.

Also at the top, a girl who comments on every rider and how much they suck at riding (she even yelled at me two days ago, she didn't hear me call out on your left and told me I was a dangerous rider) as she chats it up with other riders about unsafe riding as she herself swerves right and left.  I pass her, and I loudly call out on your left.  The other rider is over her :)  I only bring it up because even in a love bubble, there are the annoying ones :)

Start of the day, long hill. Had to pull over to undress and pull layers off.  I heated up quickly.

Romi and I caught up with each other on the uphill.  We stop at the top to take pictures.

The Tardis and I at the top of the hill.

The amazing views of mountains (which I love my mountains, or rather large California hills), is quick and over with suddenly as we cruise towards the beach on nice downhills.  Most scariest moment of the ride (2nd being the rain day and almost being hit by a semi) was today.  I am coasting down highway 101 on the shoulder going roughly 40 mph.  There is a very very slow person riding her breaks taking up the center of the shoulder.  This is OK. The shoulder can accommodate 3 bikes, barely.  Mind you there are cars and semis going 65+mph on the highway to your left.  I appreciate that the center slow biker may be scared and going slow, but pull over to the right so faster people can pass you.  I come up quick on her, and there is a biker going equally slow just behind her.  I yell out on your left as I prep to pass both of them.  Out of nowhere, the guy behind the slow girl also pulls out to the left to pass her.  I make a very very quick snap judgement call.  I have three options, keep passing on the left and more than likely get struck by a car, slam on my breaks and go over the handlebars, or pass on the right which could scare the other riders and still result tin injury to one or all three of us.  I also process that I made a promise to someone that I would come home safe and in one piece.  I opted to pass on the right.  This whole thought process occurred in about 1 second.  I go to the right, shout SHIT! SHIT! ON YOUR RIGHT ON YOUR RIGHT!  and I pass.  and I survived.  That was the scariest moment where I envisioned really bad things happening to me.

Alright, confession. I am on a boring bike path and recording these notes while cycling.  I know I know.  Isn't that just as dangerous.  Yes.  However, I am listening today to my dictation as I say pause and stop recording for stop signs, call out hazards on the road, and say stopping recording so moto wont yell at me.  So I ride and take voice notes, but do so safely and only put myself at risk of falling off my bike at 10 MPH.

We are at a stop as we wait to pass a bridge that CHP needs to close a lane.  So Darth and I do a photo shoot.

OK. So I am at the coast.  It is great.  It is beautiful. Flat and easy route. Gorgeous day. We come up to RS 1 and Romi and I take a few pics. I like riding the coast, it is nice to have the ocean to your right and the hills to you left.  Completely gorgeous. Zen like moments.  Some moments solo and wonderful. Quiet. However, it is very familiar since I have been training on the coast for the past 9 months.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!

The rest of today were views like this. Minus the small jaunt inland past Oprah's house :)

The same team who were the elves and chickens.  They were so much fun! I will miss them.

Darth, Tardis and I take our last millage sign pic.

At lunch stop, I am by myself.  I sit and eat my wonderful lunch (I think I was only one of few who enjoyed the lunch selections) and make friends with veteran riders.  I realize at this moment, I am riding to see my friends.  I miss them.  I miss those that have supported me on this journey and given me unconditional love and support as I trained.  They are in Ventura.  Jose is in Ventura.  It hits me hard.  I get to see Jose today! Romi comes along and she is doing good.  She still has knee pain.  She tells me to go. She sees it in my eyes, she knows I am like a kid on Christmas waiting to see whats under the tree.  She tells me to go get Jose and ride safe.  On my way out, I see Suzi and Carin.  Suzi also sees something is different with me.  She sees it in my heart. She knows I have a destination to peddle to.  She tells me, stop talking to me.  Go. Go see Jose.  She knows what I am feeling and she shoos me off.  I peddle on.

I was coasting at 16 or so MPH prior to lunch.  I increase my speed to roughly 20+ MPH.  It is so easy to peddle when your muscles are sore when you have a destination to get to.  And that destination is pretty damn awesome ♥

Oprah!  Oprah!  Where are you??  We ride through Oprah's hometown.  I call out her name, and get odd looks, as I try to scout her out.  She does not respond.  Oh well.  I am at the front of the pack.  So there are not really a lot of other cyclists around.  So far, I have been surrounded by cyclists as I was in the middle of the pack.  But now at the front, I am solo.  At one stretch, for four miles, I never saw another cyclist. And we were on surface streets.  Lots of right and left turns.  So at one pint, not seeing anyone and being solo for the first time, I actually contemplate if I am lost!  I wasn't, I found other cyclists. But how weird a feeling that was.  At least if I was lost it was in a fancy schamancy Oprah type town :)  Great ride and fun to look at the nice houses, or were they mansions? ;)

Rest stop 3. Tony on the right between the blue guys.

Now granted, today was now completely a Jose day.  I missed him.  He and I talked every day.  He is such a support on this journey and on the ride.  I really am eager to see him and hold him close.  But, I must stop at Paradise Pit.  The city folk of Santa Barbra set up an ice cream stand, unaffiliated with ALC, to serve ice cream sundaes to riders.  They have fancy porta potties, masseuses, and ice cream!  I briefly see David, but am solo.

I talked to a supporter at Paradise Pit.  She cheered on the riders as they came into Paradise Pit.  She says, "thank you for riding." "Of course" I say.  I tell her why I ride.  I thank her for cheering us on and how much that helps, especially when you are so sore and tired.  She says "I have to."  "Why", I ask.  "Because you are saving my life."  Woah.  What does she mean.  Turns out she uses the LA Gay and Lesbian Center for medical support and a resource.  Straight woman, she admits to having sex unprotected with a man, and that one instance, she became HIV positive.  She knows the LA Gay and Lesbian center will provide her the needed support and medical support.  I finally am putting a face to the ride.  This just became so real.  She said that because of us, she is alive and healthy so she must cheer us on.  How could she not, she says.  This ride was just put into major perspective.  I hug her.  I thank her again.  As I peddle off, I wonder am I am hero like I have been told.  Yes, but being a hero is mighty small and oh so grand in the scheme of things.  I am just a man doing something good for my fellow human kind.  Now, having a destination to peddle to also took on a bigger meaning.  I need to tell Jose I love you.

Darth and I stop for a pier pic!

At rest stop 4, the boys of RS4 bring it again in their colorful outfits and outrageous photo ops.  So I must take a photo!  I am rider 220 into RS4.  There are 2000 riders behind me.  I am clipping along.  I am tired and sore, but the tired/soreness is not even an issue as I peddle.  I increased my average speed for the whole 6 days of riding from 14.5 mph average to 14.8 mph average (that is pretty significant for only 40 miles).  This is how fast I am riding today. This is how much I need to get to my destination. Tony and I meet up one last time.  He also kicks me out of RS4 and tells me to peddle on.  I have something worth peddling to and I need to go see him, he says.  He gets it.  His husband and daughter are also ahead, so he knows the need to peddle on.

Darth and two other warriors.

Darth, Tardis and I.

Um, yeah. The picture explains itself.

It is amazing followers how easy it is to peddle when you have a destination.  I pull up into Ventura.  About 1 mile out, I start crying.  I couldn't help it.  Granted, it had only been a week since I last saw Jose.  But this journey was a lot, and having him to talk to daily and be such a support, I couldn't wait to see him.  I needed to see him.  I pull up to Ventura.  I hear cowbells, and I see a bright blue shirt.  It is Jose.  I stop my bike just shy of him.  I break down (I even am tearing up now). There, in front of me, the love of my life. Cheering hard for me.  I hug and kiss him.  I muttered I love you through sobs.  He is soo proud of me. I am ecstatic. To be honest, it was a blur. I was in the arms of my man, and the love was there, and that was a wonderful moment.  I will remember that moment forever. And baaahhh, Danny, Kira and Nicole!  Yay!!  I hug them.  My friends, my supporters, all there to say congrats!  I am in the arms and love bubble of my friends and boyfriend. It was beautiful. It was an amazing moment of love with my friends and boy friend.  I was an emotional mess, but full of happy emotions!!

Yummy beer. Uh Danny, why you photo bombing my pic.

We walk to the hotel.  Danny, Nicole and Kira trip over themselves checking out my bum and legs :)  Seriously, they did! I princess it this night, opting to stay in a hotel.  I take a wonderful shower and spend some time with Jose, just talking and holding each other.  Baaahhhh, wonderful.  So wonderful. We go to dine at the hotel. Sebastian and Byron meet up with us.  We all go through camp and I give them a mini tour.  You can see they are impressed with the logisitics of ALC and what all ALC has to provide (medical tent, massage tent, dining tent, dedication tent, merch, showers, logistics, support, the rows and rows of tents, etc.) We head over to the dining tent so we all can see what I go through and also to hear the speakers.  My friends get a small taste of what I have been doing for 5 previous days.  They get to experience Lori Jean :)  They get a new appreciation of what this is, and they get a taste of the love bubble.  They show a vidoe in support of the roadies.  My back, from the media massage is in the video.  My back is famous!!!!

After the speakers, we go to a candle light vigil on the beach.  I opted to just be with Jose.  The emotions I am feeling are too great and I needed some private time with him for this vigil.  Not a word is said from anyone.  No speakers. Just a silent vigil.  All 2000+ of us get a candle and head to the beach.  It takes a good while for us all to get there.  It is silent.  Then, we all raise our candles. Then slowly, we head to the water.  I was a good mess of tears right now.  Not for Ricardo, but for everyone I met on the ride.  I cried for those who held signs on the side of street for the memory of their loved ones.  I cried for the lady I met today.  I cried for all the supporters.  I realize I cannot forget anyone whom has passed or is living with this disease. I cried because HIV exsists.  I cry because it is not over, people are still getting this disease and unfortunately, dying from it.  It was emotional.  Then as Jose and I went to the water to extinguish the candle, I almost couldn't do it.  Now I thought of Ricardo.  And I didn't want to extinguish the flame.  Would that be extinguishing him??  I just wanted to hold that flame close and feel its warmth.  This candle took on a greater meaning of warmth, love and memory.  But with Jose by my side, I put it out. We walked back to the hotel, hand in hand, and went to bed.  

An exhausting day.  Full of emotions.  I am blissful, at peace and happy.  I am surrounded by friends, boyfriend, love bubble and wonderful memories.  Tomorrow is the last day.  I must go to sleep (in a king size bed :)) so I can wake early.  Sweet dreams Jose.

Till next time
Keep peddling

Day 5; Santa Maria to Lompoc

Day 4. Wait a minute. Is it day 4 or day 5.  I think it is day 5.  Wow, the days are kinda blending in on each other.  Yes, it is day 5. Santa Maria to Lompoc. (Why do I look pregnant in the picture above??)

I forgot to mention something from last night. Day 4, in the food line, after a rough day in the saddle, Tony came up to me, he rides with Team San Diego. We had not talked much prior, but he asked how I was doing.  I told him everything.  The flats, the emotions, missing Jose, thinking of Ricardo.  It was chilly.  He grabbed hold of me and held me in his arms.  For anyone wondering, no, there was nothing sexual or a come on about it.  He just knew that I needed a good solid hug.  So he did.  Tony has been partnered forever and understood, I think, what it was like.  What I was going through.  This is his fourth ride I think.  So as we waited for food, he just held me close, in a loving hug, and reminded me to feel the emotions and experience ALC fully.  This is the love bubble I speak so fondly of.  When you need a hug or shoulder, there is one readily available.

Day 5. Started out great!  I needed a good cry day yesterday and a good night’s sleep!  Today was a bright and cheery morning.  I like this camp because you can see the entire camp.  So far, camp has been dispersed.  This one was compact.  All the tents lined up neatly in a row.

Camp. All the tents in nice rows.  Everyone in red for red dress day!

Today is red dress day.  2200 riders all dressed in their best red dresses cruising down the California countryside!  I looked fantastic!  So did everyone else.  Though some guys were wearing next to nothing.  One, too cold for that. Two, how does your ass not hurt when you are in a Speedo and not a padded short.  To not wear a red dress, you would have been in the minority.  It was very cool to see motocrew (motorcycle team that stands at corners guiding us) in red dresses and then some!  Super fun to see them get into the spirit!

Lots of cars honked at us as they passed, showing their support.  It was also neat to see the line of red as you cruise down the long stretches of road.  Your inspi”red” signs read.  Lots of support out on the street and from passing cars today.

Romi and I are having a blast.  Her knee is really bothering her, but we push on and make it.  SOOOOO, the hills today sucked!!  Why did they not tell us that red dress day hills were going to be far worse than Quadbuster or the Evil Twins??  And to do it in a dress??!!  Yeah, hard hill day, but Romi and I killed it!  Because we are awesome like that!

Romi and I fierce in our red dresses!!!!

A sea of red dresses at rest stop 1.

Romi, Darth and peanut butter and jelly grahm cracker sandwiches at RS1! Those were so tasty!

Lori Jean and a very creative outfit.

Yes, those are high heel biking shoes with clips!

I found some mexicans on a mission

I met and talked with Lori Jean today.  She was super nice.  I really enjoy her and hearing her speak.  So motivating.  She said I was her hero.  I told her she in return was mine!  She was with us every day, standing in the rain or heat, to cheer us on and provide the most amazing support.  And to hear her talk every night, super cool.  I am glad to have had the opportunity to meet and talk with her, albeit briefly.

This day, we biked through and Air Force Base and government penitentiary.  I wonder what they thought as we passed through……??

Lori Jean and I :)

Some members of Team San Diego!

More rest stop shenanigans!

Me, in a red dress, in the middle of nowhere California

Rest stop 4!

I got my free massage today!  Super nice.  The girl worked me over something fierce.  She was not shy about getting in my business and massaging my legs thoroughly.  And to be honest.  I did not care.  At this point, your legs are in so much pain and hurt, to have someone attack your legs in a good way, rotating your legs in every imaginable position, and positioning me in some very awkward and revealing positions, you would think I would care.  Nope!  I just laid back and took it because it felt soo good!  And, the masseuses do this for free, on their time.  Again, part of the larger ALC family.  Give because you can. Do something bigger than you.

Hung out with David some.  Just talked and enjoyed the California scenery as we walked the perimeter of camp.  Shared stories and laughs.  What was weird about today, I was emotionless of anything sad or crying moments.  I was happy and in the best mood.  But compared to yesterday’s breakdowns and tears, today was none of that.  No Zen either.  Just a really good mood, all day long, so happy and blissful with what I was doing and where I was.  Had to have been the best day on the ride just to be in pure bliss for every waking second. Maybe I am just too tired to have the other spectrum of emotions.  I am tired and sore, but I am an athlete!!  This is sooo awesome.  I am an athlete.  I never have felt this way before, but I need to say it again, I am an athlete.  (The Olympics are on in today’s real date 7/31/12. I wonder if this is how they feel at the end of an event??)  I am so proud of myself and what I have done/am doing.  I am an athlete and I rock!!  We all rock!!  Go us. Go ALC Family!!

David, Raquel and I

I saw some fights today.  People’s emotions are running high.  I choose to stay at peace.  You can get so caught up in the emotions that it takes you the other way.  I chose to not go that route.  Mind over matter.  I am here to save lives, and this high I am on can’t be destructed with the bickering over misaligned tents or loud talkers when you’re trying to sleep.

At dinner we watch all the media coverage from local stations form the past few days.  Really cool to see how much attention and media this gets.  I hope it encourages those watching to investigate more what ALC is and how they can help.

Dinner, inappropriately arranged.

I decide I will do this ride next year.  I will ride all 545 miles.  I will know my bike better and be a better bike tech to Blanch.  I will save lives.

Best moment of today.  I went to the portapotty and lifted my dress to pee, standing like a man stands.  I look down at my jersey and it was the jersey from last year’s San Diego Team (David let me borrow it).  On the Jersey was David’s saying, “Nobody said saving lives was going to be easy”.  I started to tear up just slightly from that saying.  I am beat, sore, tired, in a red dress in a portapotty.  I then see a name of a friend living with HIV (the jersey had names of those living with or whom have passed from this disease).  I started crying.  So here I am, in a porta potty, lifting my dress, crying at the itty bitty urinal inside.  Then it gets better.  I have to apply Butt Butter (a chamois gel that prevents rubbing and chaffing).  So here I am, in a red dress, crying at the urinal, lifting my dress, and applying butt butter to my butt.  IT WAS HYSTERICAL!!!!  I walked out of the urinal crying from laughing.  David told me to get with it J

Time for bed.  Tomorrow I see Jose.  I am curious how I will react.  I love that man a lot.  Through this ride, I have thought a lot of him, and know that I love him. Will I cry?  Will I smile and just be sooo overwhelmingly happy.  Will I pass out in his arms from being so sore and tired?

PS Butt butter is amazing!

Till next time
Keep peddling