Half full??

Ok, an unplanned entry tonight.  So I will spit it out.

I had my 2 hr 45 min annual appraisal today.  And.... I am optimistic.  Yeah, not what I thought I would feel coming out of it.  But surprisingly, I thought it was as fair as it could be and through the dialogue I am actually optimistic about the future.  I am very shocked that I feel this way. 

I got in today to work at 1130, and just now got home at 930.  It was a long day (with no food, I get moody with no food).  But today provided some unique turns and twists at work that make me excited to work where I do.  I cant beat hanging out (literally, on a rope dangling over the side of a truss) with Dolphins.  So for all the fire moments that came my way today, I was expecting to come home not in a good mood, but, here I am, in a good mood.

Why am I blogging.  Because I took a moment before my appraisal to feel the Tardis in my pocket.  And tonight, the Tardis was joined by Turtle.  Yes, a turtle key chain that lives on my desk.  My mentor gave it to me. Private story, but a meaningful gesture.  I knew that if I got to a emotional moment, I could feel them Tardis and Turtle through my pant fabric and to take that advice.  And it worked.  Was my appraisal great?  No.  But I walked away feeling ok.  The even more shocking moment is that I conversed with him and felt that he had changed.  That he was making change based off of my feedback and past conversations.  I think I was more shocked with the discovery a few hours after my appraisal that people do change.  I have made a conscious and dedicated effort to make changes in myself, and it shows and is working.  But so did he.  He was a different person.  I didn't think he would.  So I have optimistic thoughts that things will get better.  Of all the people in the world to maybe see eye to eye, and make change together for the betterment of a relationship, albeit a work relationship, I did not think it would be him and I making a change together.  I am proud of myself.

To celebrate, and because I did not eat breakfast and only a small snack for lunch, I had pizza.  Take out, half pepperoni/jalapeno, half pineapple/ham. Comfort food, makes me feel kind of warm inside for the meaning that pizza has to me.  And it was just damn good :)

Tonight, as it has been for the past few days, I will wonder again about Tardis.  Good lord, it is taking extreme restraint right now to not reach out and say hello.  Baaah.  I hope Tardis is well.  I miss him.

Ricky