Distractions

Followers (all 5 of you)!  What an incredibly emotional and crazy past month.  I feel as though I've let you and I down.  Here I am writing a blog about my amazing adventures of preparing for a 545 mile bike ride.  And in the past three weeks I have rode.... once.  Yeah. Not doing so well for this training.  The past few weeks I have put my job first, and everything else second.  Not entirely true, I have kept a friend at the forefront of all my duties, job, life, relationships and responsibilities.  However, in a close second was my job, and a very far distant third was my friends, family and boyfriend.  And ending the pack in fourth place, my training.  Well, still not exactly true.  I did workout at the gym hard core, but mostly it was to relieve the stresses of life.  But I know that I need endurance so I choose to workout a minimum of four and maximum of six days a week, trying to burn 550 calories each trip.  So I did keep the training though at the forefront of my mind, but mostly to burn off the stresses of life that were pissing me off.  It's funny, at one point, I took Turbo Kick Box and fought the reflection in the mirror.  That was a rough couple days.  I was mad at myself for not being in control of myself.  That is a lot to admit here to those that read this, but, I promised all the tribulations that will go with this upcoming ride.  I was horribly upset with myself.  I was jeopardizing everything in my life all for a job.   I was in a unique place; my work requires me to be a rock. Solid and unwavering to my team and our goals.  A month ago we were on the heels of a crazy Holiday install and I knew the demands on me were going to be extreme.  Constantly on call taking phone calls from 6 am to 2 am (yeah, that's only fours off a night).  Working 9-17 hours a day.  Brain thinking, analzingly, logistically thinking non stop. Physically demanding and brain draining. 
My friend, needed a rock to get through her difficult time in life (still need to hold the anonymity). And being a rock to your friend when you feel that same hurt that you are helping them through was a situation I had never been in.  I lost control of my emotional capacities. I was tired, exhausted that I was being such a strength to my friend and my job that I let myself and my personal relationships go.  That was difficult.  One day, I went to Turbo Kick Box and did the class.  In the class, I saw my reflection, and I boxed it.  I was that upset with myself and seeing what was crumbling around me, I fought myself.  It was intense.  I beat the crap out of my reflection.  I cried.  I knew that I had to pull myself out of my hole I dug for myself and get my life back on track.  Well, I did that.  Slowly.  Once Holidays at work got installed, my body gave out on me.  Literally, I got sicker than I have been in a while.  And my body, not a reflection of myself in the mirror, knocked me out flat on my ass. But it was what I needed.  I am happy to say that I have taken this past week to focus on myself first and foremost, because without me being in my prime spot, I cant be there for others.  I am still there for my friend and will be for as long as they need me to be there.  But today, I "spring" clean my cottage and am getting everything back in order.  I have reintroduced myself to my loved ones and they have welcomed me back.  I have brought my smile back to my friends and they are happy to see Ricky back to where he was not long ago.  And staring lovingly at me from across the room right now, is Blanch, asking for a date again.  I will go out this weekend, with or without a buddy, and start my track towards San Fransisco again.  I am sure that I will have more things that come up that will pull me into situations where balancing life will be hard, but, I know that this next time, I need to rely on my friends and loved ones, as they will be there for me.