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I had an off moment before riding. I actually felt lonely and I couldn’t quite place it. I had a great day, a good meal, but felt alone. As I was prepping for my ride, I said to myself, do the ride and being on the streets with your self, you can work out this off feeling. So I did. I really didn’t want to ride. My motivation has been lacking and I wasn’t sure I wanted to ride. Jose reminded me that you have to start sometime and to not let weather deter you (it was misty from rain the day prior). But I still didn’t want to go. But I forced myself. About 30 min into the ride, it made sense. I wasn’t lonely personally, I felt alone to the ride and its training. The day prior, Saturday, was supposed to be the official AIDS LifeCycle San Diego Team Ride kick off. It got cancelled due to heavy rain. I was sooo looking forward to it. I was excited to meet the people who were going to be joining me in the same ride and cause and looked forward to making those connections, and some friends from this process. I think with the ride being cancelled (don’t get me wrong, it made for a nice day, slept in, breakfast with the boyfriend, a little work, dinner and a movie), it bummed me out and I didn’t realize it till I got back on my bike. But I rode 3 hours at a leisure pace to get saddle time in and did three steep hills to prep for the Quadbuster, and did about 25 miles. I also got a great sightseeing tour of some amazing houses in Kensignton! I came back high on life and feeling oh so good about myself. The ride, solo, was what I needed to rejuvenate myself. And it made me realize and reconnect with myself that I am doing this ride for me, firstly, and that not riding is only letting myself down. I have other reasons, but I am the only thing holding myself back. I am still hesitant. I am scared that I will fail this ride, thus myself and just as importantly those that have sponsored me and more importantly, believe in me. I don’t want to also fail my reasons for doing this ride. So, I put out an all call to some friends and groups to see if there are people who want to ride. Though I can do it myself, if I have a time and date commitment to someone, I feel like I will have better success (that’s why I go to the gym, I don’t want to let Kira or Danny down). And people are writing back. So I have friends out there, some who I never knew rode, that are willing to help me reach my goal!
So blogger friends, here is where I am at. I am in the best physical shape I have ever been in since I stopped dancing. My legs are great, my body fat is low, and I feel so fit. I am working out three to four days a week doing Turbo Kick Box and Body Pump. I am eating sensibly, although not enough calories (sorry Manny, we need to figure out this meal plan). I will bike twice a week through February if not three times a week. And now that its official and the countdown to the ride has started, I will blog twice to four times a month.
I know this is for me. I know I can never put in words what I will feel and get from this. But I am doing this for me, my loved ones, and yes, you, my friends. Thanks for keeping me in place and the occasional kick in the ass. But luckily, I don’t think I will need to many more of those J
Here is the route I took yesterday.http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/65549166
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<a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/65549166">A ride mapped on 01/22/2012</a><br/>
<a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/?location=San Diego, CA">Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in San Diego, CA</a>
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